last night was a terrible night for me....i was thought after gone through these few days..bao bao will forgive me...as i can feel that he still treat me good & sayang me...its about a week oledi, he still can't forgive my fault & accept my apologize...can anyone tell me what to do? i have been trying hard these 5 days (holidays) to solve every unhappiness between us...i have shown my sincererity as well...tonight, he is going to attend eddie's wedding dinner...i have knew that he doesn't want to bring me along as he told me that day, he had told eddie that we have broke off..this was really hurt me deeply...i wondering why an arguement can easily destroy every efforts that i have put into this relationship...our relationship seems like very weak....sometimes i was thought & confidence that our relationship is stronger each day...coz i can feel that both of us have work out harder & put efforts into this relationship....for the past few weeks, we even discuss to buy a house together..when i was thought everything will be going fine for both of us...normally things will turn into worst at the end....
maybe all these while, i myself was thought that our relationship is strong enough as for him, its may just part of his memories which can easily erase from his mind...his life. hehehe...bred owez said am a stupid gal...she said when i fall for someone...i am definately blind..i can accept everything about him...his good...his bad...for me...all i can accept....
but i know...for bao bao...i am owez not the perfect or ideal partner....he said he needs someone perfect...sometimes i was wondering...would there be a perfect person in this world...the fact told me that, NO.....nobody is perfect in this world....every individual has their strenght & weakness ....and there is no perfect couple in the world...everybody just need to work out together & compromise each others....things will only turn out good at the end....
yesterday, i knew he is going for the dinner at night...so da jie comes and fetch me for dinner & hang out with them..so i said ok...i am thinking to go back to settle all my things b4 i come to his house again....at least, i feel better & comfortable ...in fact, i am still mind & down that he doesn't want to bring me along...coz i know he claim that am not his gf anymore *sad*......i told myself..."no...u can't easily give up, a dinner doesn't meant anything for both of you'....but for me, it meant a lot....all the while, i am owez anticipate bao will bring me along to join his frens...not to control him or grab his freedom...just i wish to know more about his frens....i feel sad everytimes he doesnt want to count me in....the feelings just like aaron gave me....it owez make me feel that...i don't cost anything toward them...for them, i am just a companion...when they lonely...they r upset...they need someone...they think about my existing....but when they have their own activities...they put me aside...sometimes i really envy about da jie..coz linchi owez bring her along for whatever occassions...at least, this will make a woman think that...they r important for this guy in his life....he wanted to share everything with you..and he respect your existing....
i duno why bao suddenly shouted & mad at me in the evening b4 he went for wedding....his mood suddenly down...i feel myself like very annoying....so i followed da jie & yii go home 1st...i was quite happie with them....we went to cat whisker...aurora...and then curve@ flea market....when i reached home...i sms bao...asked him to give me a call when he finished his dinner...so i can wait him downstair after parked my car ...at least, it is safe for me...but i have called him several times, but he never answered...so i assumed his place was very noisy...so i called him again after 12am...then he told me that he was on his way to karaoke at Low Yatt...that times my mood was so down & upset...coz da jie and me found out that yii still keep 'those thingy' inside her bag....i slapped her as she had promised me to quit yet she still keep the balance...i dont meant to hurt and slap her...just i also don't know how to teach her anymore...i was so dissapointed of her behavious...so i called bao...asked him whether can he talk to me or not? coz i feel so lost....so sad...and dissapointed...but he just told me that wait and talke to him 2ml...coz he is going to sing k now....that times i was so upset....coz i wish he will be the one who besides me whenever i feel down & need someone...but he had rejected me...ah..i forgot dy...am not his gf anymore..why he has to treat me good right? so i said okie...i will wait u at ur house. Then he said okie...i called bred...when i was on my way to his house...i owez look for bred when i am really upset...coz i duno who should i look for....
when i reached his house...it was dy 1:30am.....so i called him & tell him i have reached safety...and he said ok....when its about 3am...he had back!!?? i was expect that he will backk around 4:30am or in the morning....i am happie to see him again. But i dont disturb him after his shower...i just watched my drama series yet he is online...maybe chatting or frenster or surfing....i duno...
afterthat, i was fallen asleep....ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
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